Monday, June 18, 2012

Last E-mail from Paraguay...

 Again, I am posting the entire email. Wow! What an amazing mission! We, Kaitlin's family, cannot express enough our gratitude to the Lord for blessing Kaitlin with this experience. We have benefited greatly and have been inspired and humbled by our sweet daughter/sister and her faith, her testimony, and her "come what may and love it" attitude. Well done, Hermana Knapp! We cannot wait to wrap our arms around you in just a few days!!

Dear family,

It's completely surreal that I'm sitting down to write you the last email you'll receive from Paraguay.  Oh boy. I don't like "lasts" sometimes.  But with every good "last", there's a great "first" that follows, right?  On Thursday, I had my exit interview with President Callan, and it was such a good experience.  He told me everything I needed to hear.  I know he was speaking for the Lord during that hour.  I left renovated and excited about the future.  So that's why I say that even though doing things for the last time is hard, I pray that the Lord won't stop using me as His instrument and that He sees fit to have me serve wherever I'm needed in whatever way necessary.  Knowing that He will grant me opportunities to serve and to progress all my life makes this upcoming change exciting.

The week in review...
We found a few really great new investigators.  Last week, we visited an inactive family, Mariela and Luís, for the first time in a long time.  I hadn't ever met them in my five and a half months in the area.  We had a short visit with them, and then last Sunday, they showed up to church!  It was great.  I don't remember if I told you that last week.  Anyway, Mariela's older sister and younger brother are living with them currently, and this week we started teaching them.  Carlos, the 18-year old brother, is especially impressive.  We taught them the Restoration of the gospel, and after sharing the First Vision, the Spirit was very strong.  After a pause so that they could relish that Spirit, we invited them to pray that night to know if Joseph Smith was a prophet.  Carlos had been pretty silent the whole time.  He was looking at the floor, and by his face, you could tell he was thinking deeply.  When we extended the invitation, he looked up and said, "I believe it's true.  I believe that this...Smith...was a prophet of God."  Wow.  That's the first time that's ever happened in my whole mission.  He is a young man of great faith and spiritual sensitivity.  I love it when the Spirit teaches truth to a person's heart.  It is one of the great miracles of this work.  It's such a privilege for me to be able to witness that process.  Sometimes I feel like I'm only an onlooker, watching the hand of the Lord work miracles in the lives of His children.  It's a great blessing.  Carlos and Maribel (Mariela's sister) were going to come to church yesterday, but due to Father's Day, they weren't able to because they went to visit family.  But next week they'll come for sure.  Maribel shows a lot of potential as well.  The Lord definitely led us to her last week in her time of need.  She lost her 1 1/2 year old son about a month ago to pneumonia.  It came as a huge shock, and she still hasn't come to the full reality of it yet I don't think.  She sits in on the lessons with far-off look and doesn't eat anything and shows us pictures of her little boy on her cell phone that she took shortly before he fell ill.  My heart hurts for her.  But knowing her has made me so thankful for the eternal Plan of Salvation that the Lord has prepared for our families.

I don't know if I've told you about Jazmín Paiba yet... She was new investigator about two weeks ago.  She's hilarious.  She's 22, she's studying law, and she lives with her mother, who has Alzheimers.  We've taught her a few times now, and each lesson has been a spiritual one.  This week, we taught her about the Plan of Salvation and invited her to be baptized on July 7th.  The Spirit has told her she needs to take that step.  She herself told us, "I know I need to get baptized.  But I don't want to."  When she told us that, it kind of surprised us, so she explained, "Okay.  I'll be honest.  I like to go out on weekends to party.  I drink beer.  I really, really like beer.  And I can't say that I'm ready to give that all up right now."  She's quite the character.  But she reads all that we assign her.  And yesterday, she came to church!  It was fantastic.  Coming to church is such a huge step in a person's conversion, and it's something that many people here struggle with.  It's one of the hardest commitments for them to keep for some reason.  So we're really grateful she came yesterday.  She came without her family knowing about it (she also lives with a couple brothers and sisters and their spouses) because they're all Evangelical and aren't too pleased with her decision to listen to us.  So it was an act of faith on her part, and the Lord will bless her for that.  Really, that's all she needs right now... a little more faith.  I have confidence that as she continues to read the Book of Mormon and come to church, she will experience the change of heart that the people of King Benjamin experienced (Mosiah 5:2) and will start desiring the things of God more than the things of the world. 

Eli and Gustavo... Whew.  It's been quite a week with them.  We taught one of the most intense lessons I've ever taught in my mission this week on Thursday.  We prayed and planned all week, and we were able to come up with the lesson plan the Lord wanted us to follow.  We taught them very clearly about the Law of Chastity.  In former lessons, they had both expressed a desire to be happier, so this time, we read Mosiah 2:41 and explained very directly that getting married was one of the commandments of the Lord--that living the Law of Chastity would bring them this happiness they so desire and that not living it would deprive them of the blessings associated with that commandment.  We read 4 Nephi 1:11, 15-16, which were powerful in the context of Eli and Gustavo's needs.  The Spirit was present, and Eli and Gustavo were both able to open up and express feelings and concerns that perhaps they hadn't expressed before.  When we invited them to live this commandment, Gustavo told us, "I don't have a problem with it.  Getting married has been an idea that's always been present... we just haven't taken that step yet."  But Eli shook her head and said, "Hermanas, I know it's a commandment of God, but I have to be honest.  I'm not prepared to get married.  Nope.  I won't do that."  Well...we were shocked, to say the least.  We were expecting two different reactions, but we thought Gustavo would be the one that was anti-marriage.  But then Eli began to explain why.  She said that she feels like Gustavo doesn't love her anymore because he barely talks to her and spends much of his free time with his friends in the soccer field drinking.  He thinks it's more important to sleep than to come to church (these are Eli's words exactly, by the way).  Eli said that they're not happy together, and that she's in the process of deciding whether to continue to live like this or to leave.  She said her daughters were the only ones keeping her in that house.  Quite frankly, I didn't know what to say to that.  In my mind, I was thinking, "Eli, it's just a matter of faith!  Have faith in the promises God is making to you!"  But I knew it would be more effective if she could receive that knowledge for herself, so we suggested that we consult God in the matter and kneel down in prayer.  At this point, Gustavo was pretty angry for what Eli had said, and she was upset with Gustavo as well.  Gustavo refused to pray, so Eli said the prayer, and it brought the Spirit back to the lesson.  It was sweet and heart-felt and emotional. Afterwards, we talked a little bit more--mostly just bore testimony and promised blessings--and then Gustavo said the final prayer, in which he promised God that he and Eli would talk seriously and try to follow Him.  I hope and pray that Gustavo is sincere this time.  Because that is just a beautiful family.  Maybe one day you'll be able to meet them.  I'll continue to pray every day of my life that they will enter into the temple to be sealed for time and all eternity.  I'll pray for that every day until it happens.

Yesterday was a good day.  My last Sunday in Paraguay.  I said goodbye to a few families for the last time, including to the Abuela Fernandez.  She grabbed me with more strength than a 94-year old woman should have and hugged me and kissed me.  "You better give me a phone call once in awhile," she said.  She's very sweet. 

Well, my time is running short.  The Spirit has taught me a lot this week, for which I'm grateful.  He has taught me a lot about the Atonement and about the doctrine of Christ.  May I just say that I am thankful for my Savior, Jesus Christ.  I know that His Atonement is real.  I know it because I have felt in my life its purifying and enabling power.  I am grateful that He has made possible my eternal progress. Every day presents us with new opportunities to not only avoid the bad, but also to do good, to be more like Christ.  I love that. I love life.  I'm grateful for the love and patience of a perfect Father in Heaven. And I am grateful for each one of you.  I'm sure you can imagine that leaving Paraguay will be hard for me.  That is the truth.  I love it here.  I love the family I have acquired here.  But I am especially grateful for the father and mother, the brothers and sisters that the Lord has blessed me with in this life and for all of eternity.  I'm grateful for your faith and courage, Mom and Dad, in bringing me to the world and teaching me the truths of the gospel.  I'm grateful to you, my sweet siblings, for bearing with me and teaching me by example, even though I'm the oldie in the family.  Thank you all for all the encouragement you've given me during this year and a half.  We have a lot of living and loving and laughing ahead of us I think.  I'm excited.  This work is the work of our Lord, Jesus Christ.  This is His church. Joseph Smith was His prophet, and Thomas S. Monson is His prophet today. 
It's just the truth.

See you in a few days.


Love,
Hermana Knapp


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